Indiana Jones Loses His Goddamned Hat

Posted in Fun and Crazy, Indiana Jones on December 10th, 2011 by Willie

So, its common knowledge that there are some gaping plot holes in the “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” the first Indiana Jones movie.  One is, how did Indiana Jones know how to close his eyes when the Nazis opened the Ark?  Another is, how did he escape the island when all the Nazis died in the ensuing ghost melting party?  The most famous one is concerns how Indiana Jones got to that island in the first place.  We swim him swim to the submarine, climb on top of it, then the film wipes to the dock the Nazis land in, and Indiana Jones looks really wet.  How in hell did he manage this?  Wasn’t the submarine closed?  Wouldn’t someone notice if he climbed in?  Well, according to the original script, Indiana uses his whip to lash himself onto the periscope and sort of surfs along somehow.  Here is an image with a tiny Indiana Jones model mounted on top of the periscope of the submarine.

The sheer lunacy of this stunt was cut from the final movie, and most people never noticed how Indy made it to the secret Nazi island.  However, it was during the close examination of this scene last night, where I made a startling discovery.  When Indiana Jones swims to the submarine, he no longer has his trade marked fedora.  I made sure to rewind and fast forward a bunch of times, but sure enough, by the time Indiana gets to the secret island, he has no hat.  Then he jumps a Nazi guard, steals his uniform, and definitely has no hat.  Where is the hat?  It’s gone!  But wait, isn’t Indiana never supposed to lose his hat?  They make a point of it in each succeeding movie.  As you know, the opening of “The Last Crusade” is dedicated as the origin story of how young Indiana Jones got the hat in the first place.  Hold up, you’re saying, isn’t Indiana Jones wearing his hat at the end of Raiders?  Surely he must have retrieved it from that boat with all the Jamaican dudes, right?  Actually, if you look closely, that is a different hat, his gray fedora; the hat he uses to wear when he travels.

Holy shit.  There is very little discussion on this matter on the internet, but luckily I found one that attempts to explain what happened to his goddamned hat; his lucky iconic hat, the hat he is NEVER supposed to lose.  According to the “internets,” in the original script, it basically says, ‘when Indy boards the submarine, he “loses his hat once and for all.”‘  In the novelization of the movie, Indy even comments on the fact saying, “Finding the ark cost me my favorite hat.”  Then he laughs…!  Now obviously, after “Raiders” debuted as a smash success, iconography was created, sequels were lined up, and hat mania swept the world.  The conveniently missing hat would never be missing again, and like “Last Crusade” depicts, Indiana would never lose the hat his whole life.  According to further novelization, Indiana would have the hat repaired and reblocked countless times, as a simple felt fedora would never be able to survive the destruction and mayhem Indiana exposed it to.  So, is it a conspiracy?  Does Indiana have a closet full of replacement hats, but acts like he never lost the original to prove his hat keeping badassery?  No, there is a much more boring word for the case of Indiana’s missing hat, retcon.

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Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Twist and Shout

Posted in Fun and Crazy, The Beatles, Youtube Favs on August 26th, 2011 by Willie

The greatest cover song the Beatles ever did was of The Isley Brothers 1962 hit, “Twist and Shout.”  Written by Bert Russell and Phil Medley, the original song was a tepid little dance song, but when John Lennon and the Beatles got their hands on it, they redefined rock and roll, and gave the genre one of its most iconic performances.  John Lennon’s throat shredding vocal is one of the greatest expressions of pure joy in the entire universe, and it’ll never ever get old.  When John Hughes had Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) sing the song on a float in downtown Chicago, he only added to the universal authority of the song’s power.  It’s the best scene in a movie that helped put a big cultural stamp a whole generation of 80s and 90s kids.  I wonder what sort of impact, if any, this film has on current and future youthful generations. I have a feeling people will always like it, after all, who doesn’t like Ferraris, ditching school, hanging out with the coolest kid ever, and singing “Twist and Shout” in front of 10,000 people?  Also, Charlie Sheen sums up his entire life through a fictional character at the end.  Amazing.  (Insert daily CBS plug…) Remember  to vote me as CBS’s best local NYC blogger by clicking these words!  Thanks!

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Give My Regards To Broad Street, Yesterday, Here There and Everywhere, Wanderlust

Posted in Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, The Beatles, Youtube Favs on August 20th, 2011 by Willie

I’m not ready to say goodbye to Paul’s terrible movie, in fact watching this makes me want to see the whole thing.  I might have seen the whole thing laid out on youtube, and if it is, expect the entire film posted on my website soon with humorous remarks dashed about.  Anyway, despite the movie being supposedly being godawful, this is a gorgeous piece of film and music making.  It’s Paul, Ringo, and George Martin hanging out in the studio as Paul beautifully weaves through Yesterday, Here There and Everywhere, and Wanderlust.  The first two songs are classics of Zeus-like stature, but Wanderlust isn’t as great.  It’s a very nice song and from one of my personal favorite solo McCartney albums, Tug of War.  The problem is that it doesn’t hold a candle to the two songs he sings previously.  Perhaps in Paul’s mind it does, but he does sing it beautifully.  Speaking of which, I’d like to state also that this is one video where you will probably never hear Paul sing more perfectly, so enjoy the sonic loveliness while you can.  Until tomorrow…

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Paul McCartney, Give My Regards to Broad Street, Eleanor Rigby

Posted in Paul McCartney, The Beatles, Youtube Favs on August 19th, 2011 by Willie

I’ve never seen Give My Regards to Broad Street, but from what I’ve read, its pretty awful.  Apparently, it was Paul McCartney’s ego run amok, thinking he could replicate the success of “A Hard Day’s Night” with another movie about a “day in the life” of…Paul McCartney.  The movie was a huge waste of money, and critics hated it, however its soundtrack, which contained many redone Beatle songs, and Ringo, was #1 in the UK.  Anyway, the musical clips are pretty interesting, and today I’m gonna post his in studio performance of Eleanor Rigby.  Originally from Revolver, Eleanor Rigby was one of Paul’s undisputed masterpieces.  I personally think its one of the greatest pop songs ever written in E minor.  The work though, doesn’t entirely belong to Paul.  George wrote the “all the lonely people, where do they all come from” part, and John claims to have come up with half the lyrics which Paul insists isn’t true.  Ringo wrote the line “writing the words of a sermon that no one will here,” and old John Lennon pal Pete Shotton had Paul change Father McCartney to Father McKenzie.  It’s a great Beatle song, and its great to see it performed in any format, so its presence in Paul’s stupid movie is still incredibly interesting and worth seeing. Give it a spin.

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